Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sunday September 1st, Helsinki

Sunday was a necessary errand day, but had a few blog-worthy events.

I was late to mass at 1230 so I decided to come back at 1800. Still a bit late to that one =/ It was a mass in Finnish, but I liked the church. Bright and small but pretty. After that I bought body wash at the convenience store and the cashier said "Here you go" and handed me a small piece of paper before taking my money. I was confused and asked what it was. "It's a ticket. You could win a prize." Oh, odd. Very odd. And almost useless to me because I cannot read Finnish! It said something in large plain black letters and had smaller black letters below that and a note in parentheses about a certain quantity per person or time period. I figured it must have been something trivial based on the boring black lettering. Of course, the Finns may be more reserved in their winning tickets, and I may have left a huge prize sitting on the top of my guidebook in the hostel in Helsinki!

It was raining something good on my way to the mass at 1230, so I decided to stop at a Chinese food place for lunch on the way back. It was super mellow and the menu was HUGE. That should have warned me, but I ordered wanton soup and General Tsao's chicken for a taste of home. The soup was pretty boring and the chicken was weird. Not breaded and the sauce was too... almost smokey, maybe salty, but definitely lacked the tangy zip of what I wanted. Oh well, I'll have some good, unauthentic Chinese food soon in the states.

I decided to buy shoes. My converse are ripping at the pinky toes and have big holes in the inside of the soles. The holes cause hot spots to form on the bottom of my feet during big walking days like the previous one in Tallin. I bought some Reeboks on sale for 99 euro. Ouch, but comfy. It took me until today (Sept 5) to adjust them so they don't rub my pinky toes raw, though. I also bought some sunglasses of Swedish design because I had pulled a Dan and lost my sunglasses inexplicably the day before. I felt dumb because they were nice and polarized.

Ok, now, what we've all been waiting for. The sauna experience! This was a trip. Something I couldn't have been prepared for. I left the hostel and went next door to ring the partner hotel's doorbell to ask to use the sauna. Before I could, the guy smoking on the street saw me in my shorts and sandals holding a bag and a towel and asked "You want to go for the sauna?" He told me it was down one floor on the elevator.

When I got there, it looked like Lee Harvey Oswald's basement. Very dark with closed doors everywhere. I though, no way, this can't be where the sauna is. There was a big library looking cart full of super old probably 3 inch capacity 3 ringed binders. I just started laughing and wondering if I was going to burst in on a prisoner or something. I got pretty wary but pressed on. I found a locked door that I unlocked from my side with the turn of the bolt and when down a few stairs to some wood paneling. Okay, this could be the start of the sauna, but am I gonna get locked in here?! I had to unlock the door from the entrance side and there was a keyhole on the sauna side! I finally wandered around and found another exit to the stairs up to the gound floor. So, I cautiously proceeded to start using the sauna. I just couldn't believe the scenario I had to pass through immediately after the elevator, and so I was still laughing to myself and saying "You want to go for the sauna?" with the accent the guy who let me in as I explored the sauna room. Since it was underground, there were obviously no windows, but it made it feel a little... Oh I'm having trouble with a good description... A little weird and foreign and out my out of my element being in a fairly low ceiling-ed room made of darkly stained 2 by 4's. No one else was there but I saw signs of life. A bunch of various empty beer cans on the high shelf where I walked in, an old towel hung close to the door, a white sign with red letters that read "Absolutely no denying allowed" that puzzled me very acutely. Next to that was a sign that said something to the effect of "Everyone honors us here, some by entering, others by leaving."

I said one more "You want to go for the sauna?" to myself and shrugged and said "When in Rome!" and stripped down. I took my washcloth to sit on in the actual hot room. The door didn't fully reach the bottom of wall, but I'm sure it just didn't need to since the heat rises. I filled the shallow metal bucket and brought it and the ladle into the hot room. Criiiickey it was hot. Hot. There was an independent small wooden bench on the floor that I put my feet on while I sat on the wooden benches which were connected to the walls. The hot rocks were atop a waist high metal box behind a wooden fence. The sauna was small and the hot rocks portion probably took up a fourth of the room. I would have felt tight with even one more person in there. I sat on the first level of permanent bench which was probably about waist high. I did dare go to the higher bench that was probably only 3 feet from the ceiling. It felt funny to be buck penis naked in this super weird, empty, underground dungeon.

I decided to ladle the water on the rocks. Oh man, oh man, oh man. Nearly invisible steam immediately flared up and made breathing feel very difficult. I put my head between my legs to try to breathe cooler air, but in the end just had to deal with it. It's one of those things that you think is gonna choke you, but it's actually just different but perfectly fine to breathe. So, yes, the water on the rocks makes the room MUCH hotter and pretty soon every part of your body is sweating. I truly must have got low because the sweat was quite literally dripping off my balls.

I think I probably stayed in for close to 15 minutes, and the whole time I could see the shower outside of the glass door. I ladled the rest of the water on and finally went out. I turned the shower water as cold as possible to mimic falling naked into the snow in winter. It was a shock, big time. At first it felt good, then cold, then my heart starting beating pretty hard and I started to get a little woozy. I turned it slightly warmer, but it didn't matter. It must have been quite a scene to see me gingerly walking naked around this wood room. I finally sat down on a bench in the first area where I hung my towel and just sat there. Heart still beating, head still a bit light. It didn't take too long to feel closer to normal, so I washed off in luke warm water and sat again. I was definitely surprised by how strongly my body reacted to the temperature shock. After I dried off and got back to my hostel, it really felt like I had just gone for a run or had a solid workout. It was a trip! Samuel told me that he feels a rush of endorphins, and I think for me it just took a while to kick in. It really felt awesome after I recovered and I would consider doing it again. Emphasis on consider. I'm super glad for the Finnish sauna experience, though.

After mass, I ate at Sky Express (a kebab and pizza place, naturally) and was then waiting for a tram back to the hostel. A tram pulled up and stopped with the doors open. I heard loud voices from inside. The conductor got out of his little booth, walked halfway down the train, took a serious stance, and sternly spoke loudly toward the voices. It was in Finnish, but it was obviously something to the effect of "Hey! You guys are drunk and disorderly, get the hell off my tram!" With NO complaints or ANY hesitation, four of the most grimey and haggard guys I've seen in Scandinavia stumble out with beer bottles. One tall guy had a nasty, two-day old looking sandwich that he just decided he was done with and placed in uncovered on the trash. One fat guy had a HUGE shiner of a black eye and a cut on his face near the black eye. All of them were talking, and I got scared. Again, no complaints or yelling, they just sat in the tram shelter and thankfully didn't get on the tram I was taking only moments later. It was SO funny that they put up no fight or weren't at all concerned by their situation. Man... Scandinavia.

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