Monday, September 30, 2013

Leaving

Well, I'm leaving. I'm on four hours of sleep and probably not enough food. I feel surprised it's over so soon. I feel almost sad. I think of myself even just month ago and know I've come very far and feel very different. I don't exactly know how to explain it, and this is possibly the post that leaves me struggling for words the most. I think I learned that traveling is not scary, and new cities aren't as intimating as they seem. I also understand a bit better the plight of immigrants because I can't read anything and can't talk to everyone. I definitely lost some self confidence when at this disadvantage. It was also interesting to be without my cell phone for any place except a stationary wifi location. A few times I had to just say "Ok, meet here at" whatever time and it felt almost helpless. What if plans changed? No way to reach the party you're meeting.

Even as the pilot is telling us about the route, I still can't believe it. I guess I'm a bit surprised everything worked out almost exactly as planned. I didn't book any rooms (except the first night in Norway), I booked no other travel, I easily and awesomely attended two amazing concerts, and I met up with Emil. It was a resounding success and I had so few hiccups. I had to buy a new day pack and new shoes, but all of my gear and planning was sufficient. Despite feeling not confident during language barriers, I feel more confident about my life back home. And honestly, it's weird when I remember I have a home. I have a place where I can read, write, and speak the language totally and completely. Wow, was I really that thrown off by only one month of hearing and seeing English only as a fluke occurrence? Apparently. How much weirder will it be in places like Japan where I myself stick out?

But perhaps I'm also hesitant to go to California with no future plans. It's nice to not have to rush back to a job I dislike, but it's also intimating to have to start major pieces of my life over again. When you travel, it's all about just getting to that next place or finding some cheap food. Pretty easy compared to looking for a fulfilling job. I suppose part of me is proud of myself for wanting to be a stable member of society and not just a bum traveling everywhere he can get his dirty boots on. I like to think my passion in life is personal growth, and learning and doing new things is the constant challenge that motivates me.

I learned that you have to do something if you want to do it even a little bit. Fear of change and the unknown is super powerful, but by pushing through it, you become so much more alive and powerful yourself. This month has defined a part of me, but I learned lessons and don't want to get too cocky. I'm going to list just a few practical lessons.

1. Pay very close attention to footwear. Madelyn told me bringing just Converse was a bad idea and it was. I think next time, I'll bring excellent, good looking walking shoes and a sandal that fastens securely to my foot. That way, if the regular shoes get soaked, the sandals will be serviceable as walking shoes the next day.

2. Planning is more important than I thought. I got stonewalled on the hostels in Sweden. Hostels are cheap, just book them and cancel if you really must have a super flexible attitude.

3. Make sure to know exactly how to get to your next spot without the use of your phone. Take screen shots of your phone's map or take pictures.

4. Guidebooks are very helpful. They always tell you about arrival and "don't miss" sights. I felt like I saw everything I needed and more in Warsaw because I had no guidebook to go on.

Really though, things went well. I'm so fortunate and grateful for the experience. I think I kind of already had a good ending message and then I added in some practicalities. Go read the part about pushing through fear again!





Can't believe I'm leaving.

No comments:

Post a Comment